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1) Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew? Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two?
A: *Sigh...* The candyman... the candyman can.
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2) Are you ever going to update?
A: I'm currently in the process of cloning myself, but after that's done I should have plenty of time to update AND eat.
That'll be the day.
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3) How many other websites are you ripping off on whereistaryn?
A: I'm shooting for at least a dozen.
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4) When will you put up illustrations that actually look good?
A: When you buy me a scanner. My current ones are quite obviously pencil sketches that I took digital pictures of and
didn't mess with much more after that. Believe it or not, they were drawn on white paper... but I kinda like the aged, mildewed
look they have now.
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5) Why does your biography claim you're dead? You type awfully well for a dead lady.
A: Some people would do anything to escape the IRS. I'm one of them. And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't
for you meddling kids!
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6) Where do babies come from?
A: Unfortunately someone once explained this to me with Barbie dolls... maybe I can do a little better.
Well, you see, when two people love each other very much... or they're too drunk to know the difference... sometimes they
start wearing sexy underwear to entice each other. Eight drinks later there is foreplay, which should never be skipped. Then,
there is sex, which is otherwise known as "getting it on," "banging," "getting laid," "shagging,"
"the horizontal tango," "f***ing," and "rolling in the hay." Sometimes this results in the woman
(not the man, unless you're Ahnold) getting pregnant, otherwise known as "knocked up" or "having a bun in the
oven."
If all goes well, the woman will be married in Vegas, or at least get the man to agree to child support. Nine months of
back aches and morning sickness later... a baby is born. Assuming the child isn't stolen by a crazy bag lady, the happy couple
takes the baby home and tells their other children one lie or another: A) A stork delivered the baby to them, but had to do
it at the hospital as it didn't know they're home address...B) They "purchased" the baby at the gift store... C)
immaculate conception.
Sometimes, if the father is a dirty, good-for-nothing S.O.B, the child may be given up for adoption. This explains why
your parents are Asian and you, well, are NOT.
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Thanks a million, and keep 'em coming!
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